When I got my AMH result at 42 — 0.9 — I didn’t book a flight. Instead, I sat down and drew two timelines on paper: one for surrogacy in the US, one for surrogacy in Thailand. Egg retrieval, screening, surrogate matching, embryo transfer, legal paperwork. What I learned the hard way is that money wasn’t what slowed me down. It was the expiry date on every single report. If you’re stuck at step one right now, stop asking about success rates. Get the order of operations right before you sign anything.
Refresh Your Reports Before You Open a File
Before any clinic would open a file for me, I had to redo a whole round of testing. AMH 0.9, FSH 11.2 — those numbers aren’t a verdict, but they set the pace. At 42, I went in on day three of my cycle for bloodwork, then waited six more weeks to fit in a hysteroscopy. The ultrasound had flagged uneven endometrial echo, and the clinic flat-out said: fix this first, then we’ll talk cycles.
Here’s what you can use right away. Before your cycle starts, build one folder sorted by expiry date with three things: the six-panel baseline hormones, AMH, and an ultrasound or hysteroscopy report. On the genetic side, add a carrier screening for both partners. The report will usually read “carrier / non-carrier / variant of unknown significance.” If you get a third-party interpretation, check whether the flagged locus actually overlaps with your own genes. And here’s the mistake that really cost me time: treating a checkup report as permanently valid. Most centers only accept results within six months.
From Matching to Transfer, My Timeline Ran 26 Days Long
A surrogacy process is not a straight line. My own log: PGT-A testing took 19 working days, and only three embryos came back viable. Matching a surrogate took three weeks — psychological interview, obstetric history, previous delivery complications, each checked separately. Then her physical exam showed borderline blood pressure, and the retest plus ambulatory monitoring added another 10 days. Add it up, and I ran 26 days past the “done in two months” the sales rep quoted me.
Use this: make the other side write every node as a milestone — who chases the reports, who pays rush fees, whether delays shift the schedule. If they won’t write it down, negotiate as if delays will definitely happen, because they will.
The Money Isn’t One Lump Sum — Write the Exit Clauses First
When I compared US and Thailand surrogacy, I stopped staring at the total price and started staring at the break points. On the US side, attorney fees, trust account, surrogate insurance, and a NICU reserve for preterm birth are usually billed as separate lines. The Thailand process is more compact, but the legal interpretation there has shifted in recent years, so every document has to be checked against the version that’s actually in force at the time.
A friend’s case still haunts me: she hit the second trimester before discovering that complication costs were billed separately. Roughly 180,000 RMB short, just like that. So before you sign, build a “break point table”: if matching fails, if the medical exam fails, if the transfer is cancelled, in case of miscarriage, preterm birth, or the surrogate withdrawing on her own — how much comes back, and how fast. Get every line in writing before you pay the deposit. Honestly, I care more about the refund path than any verbal promise.
Two Windows, One Bet — How to Time It at 42
The cruel part of trying to conceive at an advanced age is that egg quality declines month by month. At 42 and a half, my doctor laid out two paths: bank embryos first, or start matching a surrogate in parallel. If your AMH is below 1 and your antral follicle count is under five, put retrieval first. If you already have three PGT-A-tested blastocysts, then kicking off matching is the steadier move. I also learned later that a US surrogacy budget typically needs room for preterm-birth and twin surcharges — and in Thailand you should check the surrogate’s medical insurance cap under the same logic.
Use this as your gate: “three viable embryos or more, then match.” If you’re there, move to the legal paperwork. If you’re not, retrieve first. Don’t burn a deposit on an empty match.
So here’s the order, plain and simple: re-test your hormones and run the carrier screening first. Then let your tested embryo count decide whether you go parallel or step-by-step. Write days, costs, and exit terms into every break point of the process. Don’t trust anyone’s verbal “two months” — hold it against a milestone table. And if you’re under three embryos, bank more before you match; if you’re past that line, hand the locally valid documents to a lawyer and move.